Busting Emotion Myths: How to Rethink What You Feel and Take Control

Have you ever told yourself you "shouldn’t feel this way" or believed that showing emotion makes you weak? These kinds of thoughts might feel normal, but they’re actually examples of emotion myths—unhelpful beliefs that keep us stuck in patterns of emotional reactivity, avoidance, or shame. In reality, emotions aren’t problems to fix; they’re signals to understand.

When we buy into common emotion myths, it becomes much harder to regulate our emotions. Whether you're a mental health provider, someone new to therapy, or just trying to better understand yourself, learning to challenge these myths can be a game changer.

What Are Emotion Myths?

Emotion myths are inaccurate or oversimplified beliefs about what emotions are, how they work, and what they mean about us. These myths are often unconscious and shaped by culture, family messages, and personal experiences.

Some of the most common emotion myths include:

"If I express my emotions, people will think I’m out of control."

"Feeling something means I have to act on it."

"Strong people don’t get emotional."

"There are right and wrong emotions."

"If I avoid my feelings, they’ll go away."

While these beliefs might seem harmless, they can feed anxiety, depression, shame, and emotional burnout.

Why Emotion Myths Matter

When we hold onto these myths, we tend to:

Suppress or ignore emotions (which actually intensifies them over time)

Judge ourselves for how we feel

Struggle to cope in healthy ways

Miss out on important information our emotions are trying to give us

Challenging these myths allows us to build emotional awareness, self-compassion, and more effective coping skills. This is especially important in emotionally charged situations like conflict, grief, or major life changes.

How to Challenge Emotion Myths

One of the most effective ways to start is by noticing your own self-talk when emotions come up. Ask yourself:

"What am I telling myself about this emotion?"

"Is this belief 100% true?"

"What might a more balanced perspective look like?"

Let’s look at an example:

Myth: "If I let myself feel sad, I’ll fall apart."

Challenge: "Sadness is a natural part of being human. It may be painful, but I can feel it without falling apart."

Using skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we can replace rigid or judgmental thinking with more flexible, validating responses. This creates space for emotion regulation rather than emotional shutdown.

The Truth About Emotions

Here’s what research and clinical experience tell us:

Emotions are not good or bad—they are just information.

Every emotion has a purpose, even the uncomfortable ones.

You don’t have to act on every feeling.

Avoiding emotions makes them stronger.

Accepting emotions opens the door to changing how you respond to them.

Final Thoughts: Get Curious, Not Critical

We all carry emotion myths with us. The key is not to judge ourselves for having them, but to get curious and start shifting our perspective. When we see emotions as messengers instead of threats, we unlock the power to respond wisely, rather than react impulsively.

If you're interested in learning more about how to build emotional regulation through comprehensive DBT therapy, book a free call with us HERE. At Awake DBT, we specialize in helping people navigate big feelings and live with more clarity and purpose.